The SysAdmin Price List

I’ve always found this system administrator’s price list rather humorous. 

• Calling me with a question – $10.00
• Calling me with a stupid question – $20.00
• Calling me with a stupid question you can’t quite articulate – $30.00
• Implying I’m incompetent because I can’t interpret your inarticulate problem description – $1000 + punitive damages
• Asking me why your 40MB e-mail attachment won’t send. – $80.00
• Questions received via phone without first trying help-desk – $10.00
• Insisting that you’re not breaking the software, the problem is on my end somehow – $200
• Self-diagnosing your problem and informing me what to do – $150.00
• If you interrupt me while I was trying to actually fix somebody else’s problem – $45/hr
• If you’ve come to ask me why something isn’t working that I’ m currently working o n – $70/ hr
• If you’re asking me to fix something I fixed for you yesterday – $75/hr
• If you’re asking me to fix something I told you I fixed yesterday, but never did fix – $85/hr
• Figuring out you mean floppy drive when you say hard drive – $50.00
• Bringing in your own copy o f the original Norton Utilities vl.0 – $90.00
• Explaining that you can’t log in to the server because you don’t have an account there – $10.00
• Calling me with a problem which “everybody” in the office is having and which is “stopping all work.” Not being there when I rush over to look at it and nobody else in the office knows anything about it. – $1700.00
• Explaining a problem for 1/2 hour over the phone BEFORE mentioning it’s your personal machine at home – $500.00
• Fixing your “broken” mouse with a mouse pad – $25.00
• Fixing your “broken” optical mouse by rotating the mouse pad 90 degrees -$35.00
• Fixing your “broken” optical mouse by taking off the post-it note someone has put on the bottom. – $50.00
• Fixing a “broken ” mouse by cleaning the rollers – $50.00
• Fixing your “broken” printer with an ink/toner cartridge – $35.00
• Fixing the “crashed” system by turning the external disk back on – $200.00
• Changing memory partitions without informing me first – $10.00
• Installing programs without informing me and getting permission first -$100 per program
• Dealing with tech support requests for obviously pirated software – $25.00

Be Sociable, Share!

•